Friday, June 10, 2005

Dulces sueños....

So I fell asleep at 5:30 last night...what is going on with me? 12 hours of sueños me acuerdo de ninguno...We haven't had a conversation in over a week. You slept next to me last night for the first time since I can usually fall asleep watching that stupid TV in the next room. It's weird but I'm not even sad...I'm actually relieved that we are living this life and I'm not chasing you around the house asking when you're going to have time to talk to me. I'm not trying to come between you and your precious television...more time for me to read books. It's pointless to try to mold you into someone you're not; I am letting you do your thing and I'll do mine. Sometimes I look back to my dreams of having someone in my life that recognizes me for who I am and isn't afraid to tell me. In turn, he would accept the compliments and admiration I have for's that simple- don't fight me, just relax and open your ears and look at me when I'm talking to you. I don't think I'm asking for much...but you have shown me over the past 6 years that I am. I remember 2 years ago when I went to Miami and came back a new woman. You noticed a change in me and you were right. I remember just letting you go and you noticed it. I am not going to continue this pattern of cat and mouse. If you want me, come and talk to me. If you think I'm ignoring you, then ask me what's going on. I'm not rude, I still talk to you with respect...but I'm not going to beg for your attention. This isn't about someone else, this is about me. I have a lot of dreams I'm trying to fulfill right now and I can't be bogged down with worries about you accepting or supporting them. I'm going on this ride and if you want to come along I'll slow down so you can hop on, but don't be a backseat driver. I'll share my health and my wealth, just don't be jealous of it.

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