Monday, October 31, 2005
Yes folks, I am tackling the age-old question that has been the cause of millions of divorces the topic of every other screaming match that plagues married couples everywhere:
"When both partners work equal hours, earn equal pay, and are equally as busy, whose job is it to keep the house clean?"
Now, the obvious answer to some people (who aren't married) is probably: "each person should share an equal role because we have gotten away from gender stereotypes and men should understand that women are just as capable of earning money as men are of performing domestic duties both inside and outside the house"
For those of you who agree with the above statement, good for you. You have successfully fallen asleep and entered the happy place I like to call...La La Land. For those of you who are married and don't pay a housekeeper to tidy up, how many times has this been an issue?
As a woman who is in the above situation, I am reminded on a regular basis that no matter how much I make, what kind of grades I bring home, and how well I am doing with the little time I do have that I'm just not measuring up because I haven't washed, folded, and put away every article of clothing in the house, there are dishes that need to be washed, and I have jewelry laying out on top of the dresser. My response is "things are different now, and I simply don't have the time or energy to keep the house ready for an unannounced Sunset Magazine photo shoot". This, of course, was solved ever so gently with the 3 words that should throw anyone into oblivion: "You don't try."
I suppose my question now is: "When will I be good enough?" When are men satisfied? Why is it that I should be satisfied and "just know" that my husband loves me and adores me just because he goes to work and comes home everyday (even though he has refused to verbalize it without provocation) but when I do the very same I have "forgotten I have a husband". I wonder what could remind me....anyone have any ideas? I suppose 3 phone calls a day, a weekly nosegay and original poetry on perfumed stationery? Maybe then I would remember! If any of you have some input I would LOVE to hear it. I got in this game SIX years ago and have been in a dead heat every since.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Friday, October 21, 2005
Today I am 29, feelin' fine, not quite a dime, more like $9.99. (OK, my rap career is going nowhere)
I woke up this morning at 7am and started on some homework, but I couldn't concentrate. Today is the first day of my countdown to 30 and I had some serious life reflections to handle. I sat down and wrote a 5 year plan. Now that all my ducks are in a row I can actually look ahead into the future and plan my life. Not my career, not my education, but my life. I can realistically plan on when I want to have children; and for me that puts it at about 34.
When I started thinking about it, I realized I have a lot of very serious decisions to make about my health, my finances, my home, my reproductive future....and it made me cry.
While I don't want to bore you with the same old "I'm a career woman who is facing the societal pressures of whether to have a child or not" line, it became very real to me. 34 is not old, but it is much older than my friends who do have children. No, they are not pursuing masters degrees or six-figure salaries...but the thought of waiting all that time and possibly not being able to have them scares me. It wasn't until a year and a half ago that I decided I really wanted to have children one day. Before that, it was about 30% yes, 70% no. Now I would say it's 100% yes, just not right now.
I am happy with my choice to get ahead in life, but I really like babies too. I suppose 5 more years will fly by with all the things I am taking care of these days....Either way, God will take care of me as He always has.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Being on Fall break means I was able to do just about anything I wanted this weekend, which for me included:
1. Watching about 20 hours of makeover shows
2. Going to Target and buying some necessities like razors, multiple toothbrushes, and some new, grownup-looking dish towels
3. Throwing away at least 3-5 items of clothing after each makeover show
4. Vacuuming my WHOLE house (this happens a lot less that I would like it to, but please don't judge me for it)
5. Painting the 6 little patches in the bathroom so my husband can install the towel racks I bought 6 months ago
6. Driving to the river to stare at it and wonder how I am going to manage all the 10 million responsibilities I have taken on
7. Hanging out with the homegirls and the new baby nephew
*What I liked this weekend was when I went to Target I heard this little girl crying to her mom about how she "had too many toys" and she wanted to give them away to other kids who needed them more than she....not your everyday occurrence; kids can be great sometimes.
**What I didn't like was on one makeover show this young Marine's wife was getting a makeover because she had recently lost a lot of weight and he hadn't even commented on it. She hoped that "maybe with a makeover my husband will notice me"....What a friggin' a**hole. I actually cried thinking about all the work she put in to lose the weight and he doesn't even have the decency to support her or say anything. It took me back to some very hard times, but at least I am not a stay-at-home mom whose life revolves around her kids' and husband's well-being and approval.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
72% of what I make right now will be added to my salary and that's what they're actually going to pay me. I am not sure that I have fully digested (and I'm sure I won't until I get my 1st check) what I found out yesterday. I honestly thought 50% at the most (that was a reasonable estimate) but they gave me more than I ever dreamed they would.
I have worked full time since I graduated from college (as many of us have) and I started thinking back to where I started out......
- Graduated from college
- Moved home
- Planned a huge Greekarican wedding in 3 months
- Got married
- Lived in a renovated chicken coop for $280/month
- Worked as an On-Call Crisis Residential Counselor at the local juvenile detention center
- Moved to ActionJacksonville, North Carolina
- Spent a year in the military projects
- Got hired as an insurance agent
- Got sexually harassed as an insurance agent (by my boss)
- Failed miserably as an insurance agent
- Got fired
- 2 weeks later went back to my true love of fixing kids whose parents screwed them up
- Moved back to the NW
- Lived in a couple decent apartment complexes
- Worked in an alternative high school fighting ornery kids who didn't like outsiders
- Grant was up for previous job, position ended
- Went to work in another alternative school, this time with respectful kids who loved learning
- Got promoted to coordinate a career and higher ed prep program for great public school kids
- Went to Miami in the midst of a serious life crisis
- Saw the whole world in front of me and for the first time; knew it could be mine
- Came home, started business classes-loved them!
- Worked a day job, bartended on the weekends, and went to school
- Got tired of that really quickly
- Got hired with the company of my dreams
- Took the GMAT, applied to grad school
- Bought my first house
- Got into grad school
- Got hired for the job of my dreams
- Cannot believe how incredibly blessed I have been.....
Sunday, October 9, 2005
Everyone said I would do it but I wasn't sure. Everyone believed in me, but I had a shadow of doubt looming over my head. The day after my interview I could actually hear the devil laughing at me...
But Friday morning, Friday morning a little past 9am I went to check my phone messages and I had 2 voice mails and a page from the Recruiter. I didn't even take the time to swallow the lump in my throat before I dialed her number. Thank God she answered right away and:
R: "Are you sitting down?"
TT: "No, but I will"
R: "It's you"
R: "No, it's you TT"
TT: "Are you serious?"
R: "Yes. They were very impressed with both candidates but your work experience and knowledge of the Latino market really impressed them. It's ok, you can cry!"
TT: *pause* "I'm just trying to breathe"
R: "Well I'm really glad I was the one who got to make this phone call"
TT: "Me too!"
R: "So the next steps: the hiring manager will make a call to your supervisor next week to determine when's the best time for you to start, then she will be calling you with an offer. Since this is a promotion from A to B tier, there are some things we will have to do to get your salary to up to where we want to you start you, but I think you will be very pleased with our offer"
TT: "Sounds good!"
TT: "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!"
I have finally arrived. All my hard work, night sweats, caffeine-induced hallucinations, accounting exams, crazy phone calls to Miami, acceptance to grad school, and late nights rumbeando finally paid off. This year has been one of the most landmark years of my life, and all before my 29th birthday.
- February I bought my first house
- March I was accepted to the #1 MBA program of my choice
- October I was hired for the job of my dreams
Can I be stopped? At this point I don't think anyone can plant a seed of doubt in my head. All the people who looked at me like a call girl "trying to get into acting" when I told them I was "trying to get into Marketing at Company X".....they will surely gawk in amazement when they find out that I have.
So here's how it works: for the next 2 years I will be rotating to a different Marketing department every 4 months. I will be assigned a project and I will have to come up with a solution. A business problem? For me? Nooo.... ;) I am so insanely excited I cannot wait to start. No more: "Hey Tremenda, can you enter this order for me? My system is down. (i.e., I don't feel like it)" or "Can you cancel 62% of every 3rd line on this order?" or "I'm sorry you (or your team) won't be invited to the sales meeting this time, you're just not important enough!"
Now it will be: "Tremenda, we've got a hell of a problem and we know you're the only one who can solve it. Here's a box of donuts and a year's worth of coffee. -Go." and "Great job Tremenda. The advertising campaign you put together just made us 26.3 million dollars. As a reward, you will be having dinner with the CEO to discuss your vision for the Latino market. Whaddya say?"
Jeez, I tell ya I will really miss being everybody's b*tch in Customer Service, but now I will be a high-heel wearin', Versace tote carryin' PAID b*tch.
Life is good, people. Very, very good.
Monday, October 3, 2005
It's only October 3rd and I had to wear my wool coat today, it's freezing! I have to say, I am relieved that Fall is here this fast. It is my favorite time of year for several reasons, but here are the primaries:
1. Fall Fashion (need I say more?)
2. I was born in October (Accepting presents all month long)
3. Maple leaves make me nostalgic
4. I get to buy new clothes (refer to #1)
5. An excuse to stay inside the house and not feel guilty about not "enjoying the weather"
6. Anything to do in the warm weather in Oregon involves rock climbing, hiking, parachuting, or going without civilization for several days...and there is no beach here worth talking about.
7. I like wool more than linen
8. I can use the gas fireplace in my new house!
9. It gets dark at 7:30 so I have an excuse to be in bed by 8
10. I have never gotten over the school year cycle. My New Year starts in September, not January.
I am actually in school this year, so I am feeling in synch with the universe...or at least the big yellow school buses.