I have recently come upon the realization that in order for me to accept the choices I have made in life, there are certain things I will have to do without. For reasons I won't go into here, one of those things I am giving up for an indefinite period of time is physical affection. Sure, I could wrestle with the fact that I am without it and complain to the people who should give it to me, but alas I would find myself exactly where I was a year ago, and that is something I will not do. So my resolution is to not frustrate myself with such expectations and find joy in other things in life. I have become quite autonomous, I might add and my fixation on things I don't have has waned quite a bit over the past few months.
Now, as proud as I am of myself for this new found self-control, I started thinking about the actual scientific NEED for human touch. Will I be like a malnourished infant if I go much longer? Will I begin to develop a calcium deficiency or antisocial behaviors? What happens to adults who go without touch? I suppose there are a number of routes I could go down, but the one I'm currently on involves me being thrown into my work and home projects.
One thing about being an adult that I am learning with great relief is the less dependent you are on other people for things like reassurance and affection, the less likely you are to get disappointed.
You all may be scoffing at my Brothers Grimm take on life right now, but I have been on the other end of the fairytale where you wake and sleep and all you can think about it what you don't have. It's the quickest way to drown in self-pity and terminal dissatisfaction; two things that will drive you to your misery without fail. As for me, I finally came to terms with my choices both positive and negative. Life never grows at the speed you want it to, so you must adapt for the day at hand.
Do I miss touch? Absolutely. Not a night goes by where I don't close my eyes and hold my own hands or stroke my own hip imagining it were someone else. Do I sound like a sorry loser? Probably. Do I feel sorry for myself? Nope. This is the point in life that God is teaching me something, and if I don't learn it, it will have been a lost opportunity.