Friday, October 12, 2007

Oh, It's Gonna Be Super!

Trying to get over a throaty chest bug probably doesn't help that I was out until almost 4 am drinking and smoking with a bunch of 25 year old girls at a bachelorette party last night. I had no idea how the other half lives...but now I do. I must say, every bachelorette party I've ever planned or attended has been REALLY tame. In fact, all we do is either:

a.) eat dinner
b.) sing karaoke
c.) go dancing
d.) all of the above

Well...apparently 25 year old white girls do it a little differently. They all had personalized t-shirts with the most ostentatious sexpletives I have ever seen in mass quantities....and I thought I was being racy wearing a black silk camisole! We then proceeded to go to a couple bars where the bride, (who was wearing a veil with Magnum condoms as a tiara no less) did body shots on the bar and was passed out and puking before 11 pm. In true TT form, I refrained from hard alcohol (my poor almost 31-year old entrails just can't do it like she used to...except in MD and MIA) and stuck to wine and champagne.
The DD took her back to the hotel and the rest of us continued to bar hop, where the bridal party danced on the bar and had the attention of all the men in the place. I realized at that point that I was the lamest of the lame and that I traded in my party hat long ago. I thought that shakin' it on South Beach until 4 am last April renewed my membership to the VIP, but apparently if you're not bare assin' it and making out with bartenders you're really nobody.
We finally ended up at the 24-Hour Hotcake House where I devoured a blueberry Belgian waffle and a cup of decaf, and then got back in the party van with such classy slogans such as "Shameless Sluts" and "Cumm over here" painted on the windows. day I'll look back on this and be ashamed, but for now I'll just pray that no one I know saw me.


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