OK, so I applied and interviewed for a gig at Company X.... I know I said I wouldn't do it, but sometimes you get nostalgic, remember how it used to be and well...you start catchin' feelings.
Not sure how it will go, but I'll find out sometime this week.
This job is the epitome of everything I know and love. It's marketing, social responsibility, and social interaction...oh yeah, and a fat ass paycheck.
If I took this job I would be traveling to places like Kenya, Thailand, Switzerland, and maybe even Dominican Republic...it's my dream come true, but the more I think about it the more I doubt my performance in the interview.
I had about 90 minutes to prepare for it, as they told me to come in on Wednesday at 9:30 am and then changed their mind at the last minute and I had to go in at 7:15 Tuesday night. I scrambled to get my stuff together but I was so nervous...I know I was able to express my passion, but not my confidence or preparedness for this job.
I answered the questions poorly at the beginning, and didn't give a good answer about why I started my own company after I left them. I just really really REALLY want this job. I want financial security, free travel, and the potential to advance in my career. I would like to be the VP of Corporate Responsibility one day...you heard it here first. There was a time a couple years ago when I doubted my ability to achieve such professional greatness, but I don't anymore. I'm ready to get in there, do it the way I know it should be done, and let them know that C to the MF'in' G is in the building.
OOOWEEEE! I think I just jumped back and kissed myself!
Seriously though- I used to be scared of trying to get that far ahead because I wanted to be home and worried about having a family...but now I'm not sure if either of those things will pan out for me. I'm sitting back and biding my time, but for now I am focused on taking care of myself emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I refuse to allow my circumstances to defeat me, regardless if it's personal or professional. I have risen above the ashes before, and I'll do it again.
Sometimes I think my mission in life is to sacrifice a life with emotional fulfillment so I can achieve a higher purpose. It may just not be meant for me to have a family or a home life, and if that's the case I will accept my fate and work with what I've got.
-Yes I know I'm all over the place, I've got a lot of uncertainty pending. To Be Continued...