Saturday, April 5, 2008


Why do we do what we do? Why do we spend 21 years in school, get the title, buy the house, and keep. on. schlepping. What is our purpose? I know as much as I talk about my spiritual rediscovery that I should know the answer but I don't. I'm sitting here and I know I should be helping someone or cleaning the house or something...but I feel purposeless today. I am so close to getting done with school and I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I know I may get a job but I also may lose my marriage. What, then would be the point of it all? I just wish I had some sort of insight into what my life could be like at least in the next year.
Will I be a barren female executive or will I be a mediocre corporate goon with 2.2 kids and a house in the suburbs?
It's funny- the thing that I fought so hard for is now a particle in the abyss...

Just a dark Saturday night, and no I haven't been drinking.



Joke said...

Your past is ALL particles. They accumulate to make you YOU, though. The thing is to figure out how to assemble them towards a worthwhile future.

(This was a lesson learned the heard way.)


Tremenda Trigueña said...

As always, you enlighten great teacher. It's just a daunting realization not to be able to plan 2 weeks ahead of time, never mind a year.