So you know those people (I seem to be surrounded by them) who get a cold or the flu or emphysema and they come to work anyway? The people who are strong and win the fight against cancer and stand up against the toughest odds? The people who refuse to lose and inspire people around them to be thankful for their health?
Well I'm not one of those people. I had to go to the doctor today for a mysterious nausea/dizziness/bloating/hot flashes issue and of course my first assumption was that I was preggo. So I'm not. So I had to get blood work done and I have a pelvic ultrasound on Tuesday and I'm freaking out. I broke down crying in the car and am really worried I have something seriously wrong with me.
Unlike the rest of the altruistic saints who I work with, go to church with, am friends with, etc., I want people to feel sorry for me. It is not in my DNA to go into denial about these things. In fact, it is in my DNA to make a bigger deal out of things than they are. Or...does everyone else just minimize their problems? Now I'm not going around telling my co-workers or the guy at the deli that I think I'm going to pass out, but I believe my husband and my best friend deserve the respect of the truth that I'm freaking out and worried about my health. The NP checked for ovarian cysts, and I think I might have endometriosis. My aunt had it at my age and had to get a hysterectomy. She was never able to have children and that scares me to death.
I grew up in a home in which if I had a tickle in my throat my mom told me to stay home and get better. Regardless if she hasn't seen me in 2 months she just KNOWS I'm exhausted and need to rest. Yes, I grew up in a hypochondriatic home and I don't strive to be the same. However, I am going to be straight about this, it feels good to know that people are worried about me. I don't quite know how people get to the point where they don't tell the truth about their health because they're embarassed. I am NOT a private person.
I think I'm part Jewish. I just KNOW it's fatal.
3 comments:
The good news: You're not a hypochondriac.
The bad news: You ARE an alarmist.
-J.
And I wouldn't have it any other way! I'm Greek and Sicilian. If I can't can't needlessly panic and hyperventilate while I contemplate my mortality, what good am I to my race?
You sound like my grandmother, who treated good medical news as certain mistakes. It took her being 92 to be right.
Not that it was much comfort to her at that moment.
-J.
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