Monday, October 31, 2005

Who's the Boss?


Yes folks, I am tackling the age-old question that has been the cause of millions of divorces the topic of every other screaming match that plagues married couples everywhere:
"When both partners work equal hours, earn equal pay, and are equally as busy, whose job is it to keep the house clean?"
Now, the obvious answer to some people (who aren't married) is probably: "each person should share an equal role because we have gotten away from gender stereotypes and men should understand that women are just as capable of earning money as men are of performing domestic duties both inside and outside the house"
For those of you who agree with the above statement, good for you. You have successfully fallen asleep and entered the happy place I like to call...La La Land. For those of you who are married and don't pay a housekeeper to tidy up, how many times has this been an issue?
As a woman who is in the above situation, I am reminded on a regular basis that no matter how much I make, what kind of grades I bring home, and how well I am doing with the little time I do have that I'm just not measuring up because I haven't washed, folded, and put away every article of clothing in the house, there are dishes that need to be washed, and I have jewelry laying out on top of the dresser. My response is "things are different now, and I simply don't have the time or energy to keep the house ready for an unannounced Sunset Magazine photo shoot". This, of course, was solved ever so gently with the 3 words that should throw anyone into oblivion: "You don't try."
I suppose my question now is: "When will I be good enough?" When are men satisfied? Why is it that I should be satisfied and "just know" that my husband loves me and adores me just because he goes to work and comes home everyday (even though he has refused to verbalize it without provocation) but when I do the very same I have "forgotten I have a husband". I wonder what could remind me....anyone have any ideas? I suppose 3 phone calls a day, a weekly nosegay and original poetry on perfumed stationery? Maybe then I would remember! If any of you have some input I would LOVE to hear it. I got in this game SIX years ago and have been in a dead heat every since.
-TT-

4 comments:

Joke said...

The job keep the house clean belongs to the person who cares about a clean house the most. Unless other arrangements have been made previously.

-J.

Tremenda Trigueña said...

You would think that...but when people talk about how "anal" they are about cleanliness, but they expect that anality to be your job to execute; it's a slight contradiction.

Joke said...

This calls for an Official Printed Task Chart & Schedule. You divide all the tasks and the times availkable for both people to complete them and then you fill in. So everyone knows who's responsible for what and when. And then tasks are rotated so someone isn't stuck scrubbing the bathroom all the time.

You gotta catch little things before they snowball...

-J.

Tremenda Trigueña said...

Ah yes, the printed task sheet...tried to do it last week and got shut down big time. MMM is under the impression that if we have to write it down, we aren't living up to our full capacity. I will re-position it this week with a different spin, but I like your angle!
-TT