Today I am 29, feelin' fine, not quite a dime, more like $9.99. (OK, my rap career is going nowhere)
I woke up this morning at 7am and started on some homework, but I couldn't concentrate. Today is the first day of my countdown to 30 and I had some serious life reflections to handle. I sat down and wrote a 5 year plan. Now that all my ducks are in a row I can actually look ahead into the future and plan my life. Not my career, not my education, but my life. I can realistically plan on when I want to have children; and for me that puts it at about 34.
When I started thinking about it, I realized I have a lot of very serious decisions to make about my health, my finances, my home, my reproductive future....and it made me cry.
While I don't want to bore you with the same old "I'm a career woman who is facing the societal pressures of whether to have a child or not" line, it became very real to me. 34 is not old, but it is much older than my friends who do have children. No, they are not pursuing masters degrees or six-figure salaries...but the thought of waiting all that time and possibly not being able to have them scares me. It wasn't until a year and a half ago that I decided I really wanted to have children one day. Before that, it was about 30% yes, 70% no. Now I would say it's 100% yes, just not right now.
I am happy with my choice to get ahead in life, but I really like babies too. I suppose 5 more years will fly by with all the things I am taking care of these days....Either way, God will take care of me as He always has.
2 comments:
Just out of curiosity, would you ever adopt?
I'm not sure...it's definitely something that's crossed my mind and probably every woman who has considered having children. The adoption process has become so politicized...but there are definitely kids who need to be adopted by healthily disfunctional parents like my husband and me!
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